


Pray to be Only Yours

by Secret_Glances



Category: Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Post-Reboot, Religious Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-14 12:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secret_Glances/pseuds/Secret_Glances
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My girlfriend died.<br/>My dad died.<br/>My best friend died.<br/>I couldn't lose you too</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pray to be Only Yours

 

 

  
**Now I lay me down to sleep,**  
 **I pray for the Lord my soul to keep**

_Kon-El rubbed at his eyes as the early morning light shed through the[blinds](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8284397/1/Pray-to-be-Only-Yours) of the kitchen. Peaks of yellow and orange danced along the dark wood, and at the marble counter sat Bunker setting up plates preparing for breakfast. There were piled and messy pans in the sink, and the faint smell of smoke lingered in the air. The trashcan was filled with what appeared to be failed attempts of eggs, pancakes, and other various breakfast items. The other teen then waited impatiently by the toaster tapping his foot. Kon-El figured it was probably best not to say anything. Cassie taught him that sometimes you could really piss someone off by not 'minding your own business'. Afterwards, she punched him across the island for trying to kiss her…not that he was planning on planting a wet one on Bunker any time soon._

" _Mornin', Miguel." He greeted, sitting down in front of a bowl of fruit. He picked up an apple and took a loud and large crunch, enjoying the juice that flowed from the pieces in his mouth. Cassie also taught him how to eat fruit, which he found he liked a lot. However, Bart taught him that junk food tasted better, but last time he tried to eat potato chips and cookies for breakfast Kiran slapped it out of his hands and handed him a vegetable…which he found he did not like._

" _Hola! Good Morning, Kon-El." Miguel smiled happily at him, and right when the toaster made a ding he snatched the bread and placed a slice onto the clone's plate. He sat down in front of his own and proceeded to butter it up and sprinkle a dash of cinnamon and sugar on top. Kon-El settled for just butter, and poured them each a glass of fresh orange juice. He also grabbed a slice of ham and cheese. Just as he was about to sit down and dig in, he realized Miguel hadn't touched his food yet. Instead, he had his elbows planted on the marble, his palms flat together, his forehead against his hands, and his eyes close as he muttered something in Spanish._

" _What are you doing?" Kon-El questioned, taking a bite of his meal and munching away with his mouth open, letting the crumbs fly out. Miguel frowned at him deeply, putting his hands up to avoid the mess._

" _Chew with your mouth closed, don't be so rude Hombre!" He scolded, shutting Kon-El's jaw with two fingers and then explaining, "I was praying to God."_

_Kon-El stared blankly, continuing to chew before swallowing and asking, "I know that, but why?"_

_Miguel placed a hand on his hips and rolled his eyes. "Didn't they teach you anything in that cloning chamber?" He questioned with annoyance._

" _I know all about religion."_

_Miguel shook his head at him. "But you don't understand, do you Amigo?" He pointed out, taking a small bite of his own toast. Kon-El shoved the rest of his food into his mouth, his cheeks puffed out, and he chewed as quickly as he could while specks of spit flew out. Miguel slapped his forehead. Finally, when Kon-El managed to shove it all down he responded._

"… _No."_

" _What exactly did they tell you about God?"_

" _God is an idea praised by the Christian Church and it's branches. God is identified as a single deity or as a monogamous–"_

_Miguel's hand flew up interrupting him before he could even finish. "Lemme stop you right there. Tsk, tsk…no, no no! God is not just some idea." He corrected._

" _It isn't?"_

" _He isn't. God is our father, our creator, the big man with the big power." He described, waving his hands in the air gesturing to the sky and world. His eyes were shining and bright as he spoke passionately, "He is who we turn to when we are hopeless."_

_Kon-El cracked a large grin, leaning his head on one arm, cocking it to the side. "…Superman?"_

_The other teen slapped his hands down on the counter violently, before wagging one finger into Kon-El's face making him back up a little, "Don't get fresh with me boy, I don't care if you have the powers of Superman or even Wonder Woman. I will take you down."He threatened, eyes squinted and serious. Kon-El still had the audacity to laugh, and loudly._

" _Alright, whatever."_

_Miguel brushed it off and ignored it continuing on as he twirled around the counter with feeling, "God gives us life and the ability to dream, wonder, and most importantly love!"_

_Kon-El stared at him blankly once more before asking, "How?"_

_Miguel's eyes went wide like saucers and his jaw dropped. "Aye Caramba! How? How? HOW?" He exasperated, waving his arms about._

" _Er…yeah, how?"_

_The other teen stopped and scratched the top of his head thinking, "Um…well…you see…" He trailed off, trying to find an answer, while Kon-El leaned back in his chair with arms crossed skeptically._

" _I'm waiting."_

_When he came up with an answer, Miguel popped a finger into the air and said, "…by granting us souls. It is what makes us who we are, decides what we cherish, want, and care about."_

_Kon-El's chest ached for just a split second, and he was quick to cover it up as he scoffed, "Well, I don't have a soul."_

" _How do you know, Hombre?" Miguel challenged, sitting back down, resting his chin in his hands looking up at Kon-El, who stared up at the ceiling defiantly._

" _I'm a clone." He stated flatly._

" _And?"_

" _ **Do I even have a soul?"**_

" _ **Of course you do."**_

" _Red Robin!" They both jumped from their spots. Kon-El almost fell out of his chair, but luckily his TTK caught him. Red Robin was good at popping out of nowhere. He should be able to sense his 'surprise' appearances, but he never could. Despite the fact he kept track of their heartbeats and breathing patterns. But the boy seemed to know when he was distracted. However, there was something about what he said that really startled him. It felt like déjà vu, and it sent a pang into his chest._

" _What are we having for breakfast?" Red Robin asked, opening a refrigerator door searching its contents. He rummaged through various boxes, discarding a few and bottles as he went along his way. Kon-El's eyes landed on the sink, the trash, and than on Miguel as a grin adorned his face. The other boy glared at him daring him to say something about the mess, but Kon-El bet the other teen could probably whollop a punch as good as Cassie with his powers._

" _I whipped up some homemade–" Miguel started, bringing a plate towards Red's face._

" _Toast?"_

_Miguel frowned up him huffing, "It's not burnt, just be happy about that, Amigo."_

" _I'll make waffles." Red Robin suggested, pulling out the almost emptied bag of flour from the cupboard, not missing the fact it was brand new and most of it was gone. He quirked an eyebrow at both of the other boys questioningly, but Miguel only whistled while Kon-El shrugged his shoulders. Rolling his eyes, he continued to look for other ingredients breaking out a bottle of vanilla, eggs, and other necessities to waffles._

" _Gross. Don't be loco. Let's go wake Cassie. Your waffles taste like paste." Miguel suggested, pointing a finger into his mouth gagging._

" _I learned from the best." Red Robin smiled devilishly._

" _At paste making, I'll be sure to consult your teacher when I wish to fix a hole in the wall." The two continued to banter, but Kon-El had blocked them out trying to search his mind for something familiar. But everything was cloudy, and he couldn't see past the storm._

He kept by his bedside, never once moving for even sleep. It has been days. The doctors said he just needed rest, but they had to wonder if he would wake at all. They didn't say that part out loud, but he already knew. The others couldn't see, but he could. He could hear, see, and sense everything about the boy's body. They didn't call him Superboy for nothing. The team placed their fearless leader in there under the name Alvin Draper. Bart made it up, but somehow Kon-El got the feeling the speedster had always known that name on the tip of his tongue. It was a stupid name.

His breathing was slow, and much too languid. They had him on a respirator, because he couldn't breathe on his own. They said it'd only be for a few days. His skin was a lot paler than usual; it had lost all its pink and warmth. There were dark shades of purple and grey beneath the lids of his eyes. His arms lay lifelessly beside him, and there were new white bandages wrapped around his bruised chest. His legs were straight, forward, and unmoving. Everything about the boy's position looked too peaceful. It was enough to concoct this sick and hollow sensation within Kon-El's stomach. The only thing giving the team hope was that his heart monitor was still beeping. Slow, and soft. But it was beating. Just like his heart, the only thing giving Kon-El his hope.

As it always did.

 

 

  
**If I die before I wake,** **  
****I pray for the Lord my soul to take.**

" _Uh…so I'm new at this. My name's Kon-El, by the way. Just in case you didn't know. Well…you probably do." His words were messy, and he kept fidgeting in his spot. He kept grabbing at his shirt pulling at the collar or scratching his neck. Even though it seemed doubtful he'd get a response and wouldn't actually have to look anyone in the eye, this was one of the most awkward conversations he's ever had. It was a very different custom than from what he's known ever since he first came out of that chamber._

" _Can I talk to you? Am I allowed to?" He pondered nervously, swallowing hard listening to the quiet night as if expecting someone to say something. In his head, he pictured this God guy to have spandex and bulging muscles just like the metas on Earth. More specifically, he pictured Superman, with no direct connection to his past conversation to Miguel. That was just a coincidence. There just seemed to be something powerful, almighty, and hopeful about Big Blue. It seemed like a logical image to think about as he attempted to talk to…er…God._

" _Alright, so…I don't know if you're listening…but I've been…let's cut to the chase." He sighed deeply, before groaning and standing up about to give up thinking to himself how stupid this was, and how Miguel was full of it. But just as he was about to walk away the tugging of want for questions he didn't know and answers he needed pulled at him and he knelt back down. Clapping his hands together he rubbed his palms and closed his eyes, "are you even real? Do I have a soul? Am I wasting my time right now?"_

_When there was still no reply, he muttered out bitterly, "would a God like you even let something like me happen?"_

" _Maybe he did create you."_

_Kon-El's body snapped up into the air with his TTK at the surprise. He should have been able to sense Red Robin's presence, but then again, the guy was pretty good at stalking in the shadows. According to Miguel it was a 'bat' thing. However, he couldn't really make the connection between robins and bats, weren't robins birds? "He-Hey! Dontcha know it's rude to walk in on a conversation?" He scolded sheepishly with a shit-eating grin. Red Robin only quirked one elegant brow at him with arms crossed._

" _Point?"_

_Kon-El's arms deflated and hung loosely beside his body as he frowned, "you were an only child, weren't you?"_

_It was one of those few times he'd ever seen Red Robin looked shocked; Kon-El could feel the pull on his lips as he smirked with satisfaction. "How would you know what that entails?"_

" _Not sure actually, Cassie just says that a lot behind your back."_

" _Really now?"_

_Red Robin was just about to leave, probably to ask Cassie about her 'observations' when Kon-El hurriedly floated in front of him to stop his path. "What did you mean, anyways?" He asked curiously._

_Red Robin stared up at him for a full second inhaling slowly in the nose and exhaling slowly out the mouth. He was probably doing one of his little meditation rituals. Kon-El noticed he did those sorts of things, usually if he had to calm his pulse. Then, when he started to return to normal breathing patterns he rubbed his chin looking up into the left as if in deep thought before explaining, "Well, technically, the reason most of us exist is because when a mommy and a daddy love each other–"_

_Kon-El glared at him cutting him off, not missing the sarcasm, "I know how procreation works." He growled angrily._

_Red Robin chuckled lightly, before taking on a more serious expression and responding, "I don't know, I guess by my book, if God is real, he probably planned everyone's birth."_

" _And you think he planned my…'birth'?"_

_Red shrugged his shoulders, taking a step back. Kon-El hadn't even noticed he'd been floating closer into his space. "Yeah, I mean who knows; maybe he wanted N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to create you. Maybe he wanted you to exist." He suggested thoughtfully, dark blue eyes flickering. Maybe it was the trick of light, but it looked as though Red Robin was searching for something._

" _How would you know?"_

" _Because you're here." Red replied, as if it were as simple as that._

" _And?" Kon-El pushed on, wanting more. He continued to float dangerously closer into Red's space bubble unknowingly whom kept backing away as if he were fire._

" _I think he wanted you to exist, because you still do." Red explained quietly, his voice taking on a tone that was…_

" _I still do?"…sad._

" _I mean…" Red quickly changed moods, returning to a more 'stable' state shrugging his shoulders again and walking off calling behind, "…you're here aren't you. That's all that should matter right now, right? Especially when we risk life and limb all the time." He pointed out coldly._

 _Kon-El stopped in his own spot. Pausing as he watched Red walk away before hanging his head and sighing disappointedly,_ _**"Yeah. You're right. Just needed to vent, I guess."** _

_That managed to make Red stop, then turn around, and stride back towards him before sweeping gentle fingers down Kon-el's forearm giving a comforting, apologetic smile,_ _**"You know I'm always here."** _ _His voice steady, and sure_ _**.** _ _Blue eyes full of an intensity he couldn't quite place._ _Kon-El raised his head and smiled back, not missing that skip as he felt his own chest pang._

Kiran and Bart comforted each other and opted to leave first to keep guard of their 'headquarters'. Eventually, only he, Miguel, and Cassie remained. After a few hours, Miguel decided to stay in the waiting room when the nurse ushered them out, but Kon-El refused to move from his spot. Cassie had wanted to stay by Red Robin's side too, but something about Kon-El's expression made her leave. It wasn't easy. She fought, she screamed, and she even gave each of them a good sock to the chest. She didn't cry, but she looked like she wanted to. However, there must have been something on his own face that he doesn't even realize or know that made her finally leave them alone. She stopped for a full second, frightened, young, blue eyes stared into his for a long time, studying him before dulling out into a knowing look and she left.

As the stars and the moon peeked through the white panels of the tiny window in the room for the third time, Kon-El stared up at the sky searching for an answer…for the hundredth time. There were streams of light blue and purple shielding the twinkle and light sporadically across the sky, soon rain started to fall from these clouds and droplets came crashing against the glass with a soft pitter-patter. He watched each one fall and splatter into small splashes of tiny blooming flowers disappearing into long shrinking streams. He watched, he did, but he continued to listen to the same thing…

… _his_  heart.

It was soothing, and brought him more comfort than the lousy plastic chair they brought him, the flavorless jell-o cups, the beeping monitor, and especially more than those pamphlets on death. It'd be a lie if he said it wasn't his source of comfort before. Yes, even before Red Robin managed to get himself  _this_  hurt he'd always listen in for him. It felt automatic, and very habitual. At first, he was simply checking on everyone's position, but somehow his senses immediately landed on Red Robin like muscle memory, and they wouldn't leave. He didn't want to stop listening. He couldn't stop listening. After that, he was always checking on everyone at the beginning of every mission until by the end he was only listening to one melody. Soon, he was only tuning in to one beat, one rhythm, one symphony, one heart.

It was a bit of a creepy addiction. There was no calling it anything else, and he knew it. But no one would know but him. Although, sometimes it was blatantly obvious, and since Red Robin was a smart guy, he knew there was no way he'd miss it if the boy was as quick as he lead them all to believe. Whenever Red Robin's heart sped up, Kon-El went into alert. If Red Robin's heart jumped, Kon-El's eyes scanned the room for intruders, surprises, or traps. Every time Red Robin's heart skipped a beat, Kon-El couldn't look him in the eye. Now that Red Robin's heart is slowing down, Kon-El wouldn't,  _couldn't_  leave his side.

With a heavy sigh, he turned his gaze away from the falling rain and his eyes landed on Red Robin's un-moving face. It was always going to be something hard to look at, to see him this way. It really bothered Kon-El, but he didn't know what was freaking him out the most. Seeing Red Robin this way, or the fact it really tugged at his strings. Either way, he couldn't understand why either had to happen. Miguel always said God had a plan for everyone. He couldn't help but scoff to himself and think Red Robin's probably thought up better plans than this crap.

The rain became heavier as time pressed on, and every once in awhile lightning would shock the sky and thunder would vibrate the walls around them. After peeking around the corner of the door and he was sure no one was listening, Kon-El stood by Red Robin's bedside, then he bent down on one knee, two knees, and kneeled. Bringing his palms together, he closed his eyes, leaned his elbows beside Red Robin's arm, laid his head down, lifted his hands and he…

"Hey, God. It's Kon-El. I don't know if you're listening. I say that every time…but I need you to hear me out right now."

…prayed.

 

 

  
**Guide and guard me through the night** **  
****and wake me with the morning's light**

" _What are you doing?" Kon-El questioned, popping his head inside Red Robin's bedroom only to find him with a lap full of clothing, needles, and thread. He's seen a lot of weird stuff since he's first walked the earth, but he found this to be one of the most unusual sights yet. Then again, he's seen Bart scarf down three foot longs in one go. He's also witnessed Miguel singing and dancing alone in the bathroom half naked. Bunker has no idea, but Kon-El almost wants to ask him if that was his or Cassie's underwear…_

" _Sewing tracers onto my clothes." Red Robin responded, rolling his eyes as if it couldn't be any more obvious. His hands were steady, and his pupils darted between different threads. He didn't lift his head, expecting the clone to be satisfied with the answer and to leave. He always did that whenever he was concentrated on something. If Cassie was hard to warm up to, Red Robin was like walking through Antarctica nude._

_Kon-El's eye twitched. "…so you'll know where you are at all times?" He said flatly._

_Red Robin chuckled to himself before shaking his head and looking up at him. "Ha-Ha. Funny. No. It's to make sure Bart doesn't take off with another one of my sweatshirts." He explained, with mild annoyance laced into his words. Kon-El was very thankful of Kiran for advising him to ask Red for permission to borrow clothes as soon as they showed him the penthouse._

_Kon-El smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the entranceway, "well aren't you touchy about your Dolce and Gabbana."_

_Red quirked an eyebrow curiously, while he set aside his work and neatly folded each of the garments. "You know what that is?" He asked, closing the lid of his sewing box until it made a loud click. It was black, leather, and had two golden letters scripted on the front: A. P. he wondered if that was Red's name. Maybe it was something like Aaron? He looked like an Aaron. It could be Andrew too, or Anthony. Maybe it was something really stupid, like Alvin._

" _Cassie." Kon-El replied, floating over and flopping his body down on Red's neatly set bed undoing all his hard work that morning to keep it clean. He could see the visible vein pulsing on Red's neck. Even though Miguel didn't find it so funny, Bart was totally right. Riling Red up was a lot of fun._

" _She's been teaching you a lot, hasn't she?" He bit out, shoving Kon-El off his bed and resetting it. He probably wouldn't have been able to if the clone hadn't let him. He only wanted to poke fun with Red a little bit, not actually piss him off so much that he kicked him out of the penthouse and punched his lights out with a kryptonite encrusted ring. Worse, he could have Cassie give a go at him, and she could really wail out on someone._

" _Yeah, 'cept one thing." He commented, his mouth going into a firm line as his tone became a little more serious._

" _And that'd be?"_

" _Why you rescued me."_

_They stood quietly trapped into a staring contest. Kon-El was obviously searching for some sort of answer, but in Red's eyes he could see he was too. Finally, when the silence became too much, Red sighed and responded as he walked around the room making a run through and straightening things as he went. He was a total clean freak. "It's only a month in, you still have time." He told him, there was something in his voice, but Kon-El couldn't quite identify what it was. However, he did notice that Red really sucked at keeping still and relaxing._

" _Why can't you just tell me?" Kon-El exasperated, throwing his arms out cocking his head to the side._

_Red finally settled on rearranging the books on his shelf as he continued to talk. "We had an arrangement, and you took my challenge. Are you implying Superboy backs down from challenges?" He suggested, as the texts slid in and out of his hands making soft thumps as he moved them around._

_Kon-El rolled his eyes, groaning, "Whatever…hey, so there's this awesome show on T.V. that I think is really cool. Wanna watch?" He waggled his eyebrows excitedly, floating towards Red snatching the book in his hand and cramming it in a spot upside down. He blocked Red Robin from being able to reach the shelf. He could tell the guy really wanted to hit him._

" _What is it?" Red seethed, stepping to the side to reach, but Kon-El just moved with him, and this made the vein on his neck show more prominently._

" _Wendy the Werewolf Stalker." Suddenly, as quickly as Red Robin got annoyed he relaxed and there was something in his look as he held this amused expression as though he really wanted to laugh hard and loud._

" _You don't say?"_

" _What's so funny?" Kon-El demanded to know, but Red Robin shook his head and started to walk out of the room with the expectancy for him to follow. Which he did._

" _Nothing…nothing…just…_ _ **you sure do know how to talk Purrty when you want a guy to hang out…buddy."**_ _There was a quick and swift pang in Kon-El's chest, and he could hear the skip in Red's. He felt like he knew there was hidden meaning behind that, but his mind was too cloudy and he couldn't find the answer._

" _What's that supposed to mean?" Red only shook his head again, and made his way to the entertainment room without looking back. He did this kind of thing when he didn't want you to see his face and he had no mask on, Kon-El noticed this. The clone smiled, happy their leader was willing to watch the show with him. But he was still confused as he floated behind following closely, "if this is one of those team initiation things I'm not buying."_

The heart monitor started to pick up its pace, but not enough to make a big enough difference. Red Robin was still un-moving, and for a second Kon-El was actually a bit grateful. He felt a bit embarrassed for doing this at all. "I need you to do something for me, and if you can do this I promise…I swear, I'll believe in you, and I'll try to be good." He swore, sincerely. At first, his voice was quiet and broken, but as he started to find confidence the volume in his tone picked up. His words were fast and slightly jumbled, but they were clear enough.

"Now, I can't guarantee I can be  _Superman_  good, but I'll be good." He joked, laughing a bit nervously to himself, before it died out into a plead, "Just…don't take him away."

"Please, I need him." When Kon-El said that, it felt as though something was stuck in his throat, and his words were like a croak. He kept swallowing, hoping to make it go away, but the feeling lingered. "I know we haven't known each other too long, but…I need him, somehow, I just know I do." He squeezed his eyes tighter, and pressed his palms together harder, digging his elbows into the mattress.

"It sounds crazy, but nothing's made sense. Ever since those people in the lab made me…ever since you had them make me…I don't know what to make of anything…nothing made sense…"

He trailed off for a second thoughtfully, before finding the right thing to say. His tone died back down to the quiet un-confidence as he tried to piece together his thoughts. His breaths unsteady, and his voice strained as he continued to pray. "In fact…everything about Red Robin makes absolutely no sense…" The rain outside continued to fall hard and fast…

"…He's this guy who is out risking his ass for metas, and he's not even one…" …lightning lit the sky…

"…I beat his whole team into the ground, including him, and he still wanted to save me…"…booming thunder shook the room…

"…being around him, I've never felt more confused…"…hail pounded against the glass…

"…at the same time, it all makes sense…"…blistering winds screeched against the storm…

"…like something I already knew that feels…"…and Kon slowly stumbled onto warm, familiar emotions filling the pits of his stomach, the inside of his head….

"…safe." …and his heart…

"…but that's what confuses me. How can someone make you feel this way, when you've barely known them…" …soon, the wind became soft whispers…

"…the point is, I need him. You can't take him, not now. You don't need him yet." …heavy droplets became a light sprinkle…

"This team needs him."…the sprinkle became a mist…

"His friends need him." …the clouds parted into nothing…

" _I_  need him. I mean this, God. Y-You better listen, because you don't need him, you really don't.  _I do_." …the dark, night sky cleared up…

"I don't think I'll ever stop needing him."…revealing the twinkle of the stars and the shining, white moon…

"He's my best friend."…and he remembered.

 

 

**Angels watch me through the night  
and keep me in their blessed sight.**

" _Red Robin!"_   _It happened so fast, there wasn't any time for any of them to save him. He was their leader, their friend, the only truly vulnerable one of the group. They felt responsible for getting his butt out of the way when he was too distracted acting invincible. Most of the time, it was pretty damn believable. They just never thought he could ever actually die. Guess he had them fooled._

 _Superboy was the first to find him beneath the broken concrete and metal. A slim pipe had been driven through his side, and he was losing blood. All his ribs appeared to be broken; there was absolutely no color in his face. He's seen death and gore before since it came in their type of business. However, seeing it on Red Robin felt too surreal. It was something he just wouldn't be able to get used to seeing. Somehow, he got the inkling that's probably not the first time he's thought that. Red Robin's eyes were closed, but…but…" I can't…I can't hear his heart beat."_   _As soon as he realized this, he lifted the limp boy into his arms protectively. Gingerly, and carefully he used his TTK to slide the pole out of his side before searching through his utility belt for medical tape. After triggering a few booby traps and releasing a few weapons, he found it and wrapped up the wound. He'd accomplished this in a matter of seconds, but it felt like slow motion, like time stopped with Red's heart._

" _Kid Flash, you need to take him to the hospital." Cassie commanded, before she had Superboy lay him flat on the ground. He still held him, but that was all right as long as he wasn't in the way. At first, he felt something ugly and angry run up his insides when she pressed her mouth against Red Robin's, but he understood as he felt the boy's body continue to live._

_Bart hung his head, his eyebrows furrowed and spoke slowly, for once, "I don't think–"_

" _Don't just stand there! Do something! Anything. Anyone!" There was complete silence as Superboy's voice echoed across the walls of the buildings that surrounded them. It riveted low and dangerously. Cassie knelt down beside Superboy to stroke Red's hair. Her fingers were dirty, rough, and shaking. Superboy knew she probably wanted to hold him too, but he couldn't, wouldn't, find it in himself to let go. Cassie almost wanted to back away, but instead she only laid a gentle and affectionate hand onto Kon-El's shoulder. He relaxed under her touch, but tensed once more when he realized he could literally feel life leaving the boy and his limbs run cold. Immediately he shoved her towards him and she pressed his mouth against Red's once more, blowing in slowly and in rhythm._

" _Static, can't you try something?" Cassie pleaded, cradling Red Robin in her arms. Superboy wanted to take him back, but it felt selfish. With as much patience as he could muster up, he floated idly and watched Red Robin's body constantly listening in on his breathing, for his heart, and waiting for a sign._

_Virgil pushed up his sleeves nodding his head, "everyone, stand back," he ordered. Cassie ran her hand through Red's hair once more before laying him back down and backing away. Virgil pressed his hands against Red's chest, inhaled deeply, and out slowly. Suddenly, sparks of purple, blue and white flew and the rest of the team watched with anticipation waiting for a response. He repeated this a few times, until finally…_

" _I hear him." Kon-El breathed out, not realizing he'd been holding his breath._

" _He'll be okay if we get him to a medical center." Virgil instructed, backing away to allow Kid Flash to carry him away, but instead Kon-El beat him to it._

" _I'll take him."He insisted, holding the small, limp body against his possessively._

" _Superboy, I could probably run faster." Bart suggested, scratching at his elbow nervously._

" _I can do it! Just let me…let me do it!" His voice was fierce and harsh, but desperate and begging. Bart was going to argue with him, but Cassie put up her hand. She knew he needed this, and with that, they let him. He flew off in a flurry and he got there just in the knick of time they told him._

"Please Lord. Sometimes… _all the time_ , he feels like my only hope…" His voice was a cross between a choke and a whimper. His hands shook as he squeezed his eyes harder desperately fighting the tears that threatened to fall. He almost wanted to yell out to God, at the top of his lungs, if it would mean answering his call, he never felt more hopeless, "…and right now  _you're_  my only hope, because his life is in your hands right now. You need to give it back to him. Please…"

"Please…"  _ **My girlfriend died.**_

"Please…" _ **My dad died.**_

"Please…"  _ **My best friend died.**_

"I can't lose you."  _ **I couldn't lose you too.**_

"Conner?" Light blue eyes snapped open to meet dark blue ones. It was like the horizon, a blend of sea and sky. A flood of shared memories, words, unspoken ones too, flowed within in his mind tugging at his chest pulling him in. It was as though a fog had been lifted from his sight, the heaviness in his throat dissipated, and the weight on his shoulders that he didn't even realize was there was gone. It was just like waking up from a terrible nightmare, and coming back to a happy reality that left you with pure unadulterated bliss and ease.

Quicker than a speeding bullet, Conner wrapped his arms around the boy's body, disregarding the tubes and wires, holding him close, listening closely to the symphony that'd been singing out to him this whole time."Oh God…I mean…oh man…I-I mean…God Tim. Dammit Tim.  _Tim_." He sputtered out, burying his face into dark hair and taking in his scent. He whimpered slightly, because he almost started crying just because he  _knew_  it was still the  _same_.

Small gentle arms wrapped Conner, fingers laced on his back. " **If you're trying to be all dark and grim now, this isn't going to help**."He could feel Tim's knowing smirk without having to look, but he could hear that skip and that pang.

"That's not funny." Conner choked out between hesitant laughs, before pulling back to look at Tim. There were a million emotions going through his mind. Like how wrong and unfair he felt that looking at him this way felt like the  _first time_  and it shouldn't have been this way. Like how bad and guilty he felt for not figuring it out as soon as Tim saved him. Like how angry and frustrated he was with himself for not chasing down and looking for Tim the way  _he_  had for him. Like how happy and relieved he was to have his best friend back.

"It's okay now." Tim soothed, giving a lopsided smile, still doused up on drugs.

Conner shook his head, his eyes going dark, and his brow furrowed as he muttered out sadly, "I can't believe I almost lost you."

"Now you know how I feel." Tim joked, he still had the audacity to try and cheer him up. That was his job, not Tim's.

Finally smiling, Conner grinned back at him giving him a quick and swift slap to the back, not really caring that Tim flinched and that it probably hurt a lot more due to his injuries. "Don't say that."

"Sorry." Tim apologized sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Conner almost wanted to slap himself, because he shouldn't have missed that as much as he did. Taking him into his arms once more, he placed a hand behind Tim's head pressing him against his chest as he buried his own face into the boy's shoulder protectively.

In small, low, voice he vowed, "I'm never letting you go. Never again."

"You do that." Tim yawned, before falling right back to sleep. Conner smiled brightly, and he couldn't make it go away because there was a blooming warmth within him that shined - hope. It was like discovering lost dreams and coming back from the dead - again. When Conner was sure Tim was actually asleep, not faking, he whispered out softly and gratefully…

"Thanks, God."

 

 

**Amen.**


End file.
